WE WILL START AGAIN AND AGAIN WE HAVE 191 DAYS THATS NOT LONG THANKS

 

191 days left till Niall. My ultimate goal is to have cash rm3000 to spend at Jakarta. That’s quite a lot of money. First thing first,

1.       Flight tix, but before that need to renew my passport. But before renew my passport, I need to find for my passport.

That’s the only thing first. Then the normal2 things like losing weight so that you can look good in pictures, kemas bilik cuz when your bilik kemas then it will reflect in all aspect of life, then read about Jakarta and study religiously so you know what to expect and what not. We can do this lets do this. And don’t forget to listen to all niall horan and one direction songs. Yes this is it. And like always, let’s operate the songs.

true colour

 

94 posts left.

It’s like I was living in a dream. Being love dearly. Like the most important thing in this world. The most valuable gold. I never realize how blinding that is. I have the idea before, through watching movies and reading, but never have one person myself. That’s honestly the best feeling ever. Like living in a dream. Everyday, looking forward to see him. Having time with him. Always wanted. The best things.

638 days later. Everything feel forced. It’s like I change the most loving man to just a man. Maybe true colours show.

help me Ya Allah.

lots of love

 

95 posts left.

Ya Allah, hati yang berharap ini hanya mampu berharap agar semua nya akan baik2 sahaja. Tolong Ya Allah, tolong aku.

Maaf Ya Allah, maafkan aku.

Terima kasih ya Allah, atas segalanya.    

 

During times of hardship and suffering, it is important that we humbly beg Allah for His comfort and protection. Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, says:

فَلَوْلَا إِذْ جَاءَهُم بَأْسُنَا تَضَرَّعُوا وَلَٰكِن قَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ وَزَيَّنَ لَهُمُ الشَّيْطَانُ مَا كَانُوا يَعْمَلُونَ

 

Ya Allah, I seek help, comfort and protection from You Ya Allah. Forgive me Ya Allah for just thinking about me and my so called past experiences. It’s like I forgot that You can do so much better. Give me peace and solace. And lots of love too

please forgive me Ya ALlah

 

96 posts.

Is this a new era? He’s getting bored with with all my blackmails and I’m the one who always coming back I don’t want to get hurt. I hate being in that situation so I beg. He’s still nice though. But I’m afraid if I left him unattended and he will never coming back to me at all. He will forget me. He has a great coping mechanism involving alcohol and I don’t have that choice, don’t even have that choice ever. What should I do now? Should I give him more time? Is it right the right couple or the right person will never make you in this position. Is it right? Forgive me Ya Allah for loving your creation very much. Please forgive me Ya Allah.   

think rationally

 

97 posts left.

I’m sad. I’m sorry Ya Allah. I am now so shallow that I don’t even know how to berdoa. I don’t have right words to it. Now I realize how important it is to have a lot of knowledge. Am I wasting so many time and energy? Am I hoping to something that is not good for me. Is it all in the past? Is it time for me to move forward? Ya Allah please help me. What should I do now ya allah. Ya Allah, please help me so much ya Allah, I need your help Ya Allah. Help me Ya Allah to be rajin and think rationally.  

im shallow

 

98 posts left.

 

Ya Allah. I know I’m in no place layak to receive anything from You because I sin. Horrendously. Forgive me Ya Allah. Give me more chance to be close with You but please don’t take anyone from me. I don’t want putus cinta lagi. I don’t want broken again. Not now Ya Allah. Not ever. Please help me so much Ya Allah.

Ya Allah hujan-hujan ni, adalah masa terbaik untuk berdoa. Ya Allah, make it ease for me. Ya Allah, give me peace Ya Allah. Ya Allah help me Ya Allah. I have no idea what to say anymore because I am now very shallow. Forgive me Ya Allah.

only You can help me Ya Allah

 

99 posts left.

Hi I’m struggling. In all aspect of life

Ya allah I’m afraid. I feel like trauma. Being left, not having a lover. It so hard. Ya allah forgive me Ya Allah. Please make everything as easy as ABC. I don’t want to go through with that again. I want to have a happy relationship ya allah. Please help me Ya Allah. Please Ya Allah. I was crying, again and again. I have this fear that he will leave me. Ya Allah I hate being this obsessed. Please help me to have self control over myself. Only You can help me Ya Allah.

not abandoning you

 

99 posts to go.

okay today is the day! By  hook or by crook. I WILL KEMASKAN MY BILIK.

WATCH YOUTUBE AND BE GOOD

RECITE QURAN

EXERCISE GRACEFULLY

Today I want berubah.

I make a new blog. Like I want to go big. With that blog. I want to give to society. I want to share my experience. Make a good statement and whatnots. I want to share my travel, my restaurant hopping, but stay anonymous. Maybe can also share recipe. I want to promote that blog. I want to educate. I want to appear in google. Like now, my focus is Jakarta for concert. Ah can’t wait. But of course will not neglecting this blog as well.

it will repulse

 

100 posts to go. Lets go

1 day left for judika
204 days left till Niall.

Ya allah, my hong leong increasing 723 every month omg omg omg how how how how. Rilek rilek rilek just for 3 months.  Then it will be rm130 only until February.

Ya Allah, I need to start being less obsessed with Min. This is exhausting. Ya Allah please help me. Please help me being cool. I know it’s impossible right now. Ya Allah I hate this kind of feelings. The constant anxiety. I know that I need to calm down. And relax. Cuz I’m being obsessed, it will repulse.

hello garuda land.

 

100 posts left. Judika posted on his Instagram the songs list , one by one. As for now only like 13 songs. Is that all? Cuz last time dmasiv one, there were 25 songs altogether. The dmasiv concert was one of the highlights of my life, and also literally highlight on my Instagram. What a cliché.

I bought ticket to Niall’s concert. I’ve said in previous post, but I’m saying this again. Cuz this is literally my dream. My visiting SEA countries dream before 30.

2 days left for judika
205 days left for Niall. At Jakarta. Yes, ameera and I will be going to Jakarta next may!

the end of us

 

101 posts more to go. Oh my god. What am I doing today, yesterday and days before?

Judika concert is in 2 days and I haven’t fully yet prepare. I even bought Niall tickets and new fridge for my house. Imagine the dent in my account right now. Like hit by truck. I had a fight with Min during lunch. I can feel that we are growing apart. He’s just being formal with me. Like a robot. He doesn’t care much. He even said that he’s bored with me and my temperament. So heart breaking, he blueticked me. Is this the end for us?

help me ya rabb

 

87 posts left.

1.       I just muted one of my classmate during university. Is it because I’m jealous? Because she travel a lot and land a good job. Plus she’s a certified genius. Meanwhile me…. Ya Allah, I hate this comparison. Please help me Ya Allah. But in a way this also good for me to reflect a lot. Like I should do better. Am I in the right track? Everything is so blurry. It’s like I’m constantly losing a battle. I don’t know what to do sometimes. I need to be better, earn way more, work way harder, workout also. Please Ya Allah. Help me

rich rich

 

88 posts left.

1.       Imagine one of your problems is not getting enough sleep cuz your baby want to play with you. Ya Allah, sounds so cool and good. Omg I wanna cry. What a dream. I want to have that problem. Ya Allah ease my journey to have my own family. And most importantly is to have a super secure financial. I don’t see a way yet now, but I’m sure there will be a way. I just realize that I never actually pray to be rich. Like rich rich. I just want a happy and enough life. Maybe it’s time for me to pray to be rich.

new perfume at home

 

89 posts left. Let’s go.

1.       Remember to reduce screen time to about 6 hours only daily.

2.       I don’t think I manage to make it below 6 hours daily, now that I have a new addiction. I play monopoly go and about to download township

3.       Time to work again. Haiyaa I lost the fire when I was too busy playing games. This is not good at all ya.

4.       Im so excited to go home now cuz my perfume is already at home and also brand new windbreaker. But I don’t know whether the perfume I bought is the original one cuz it cost half compared to other stores. Whatever it is, I now cannot deny that Lilith and Eve are very wangi.

stay hungry gurls

 

90 posts left.

1.       Serum makes you sticky. Moisturizer makes your skin smoother. That’s the difference I can tell. For now. That’s why moisturizer always place at the end of the skin care routine.

2.       Today I want to try wearing Irise emulsion. The thing is that, it’s already expired. But let’s give a try

3.       I get creative when I’m hungry. Stay hungry gurls.

4.       Now I am thinking about sotong kembang sambal. This hack that I’ve been on now, not really a hack, just a thing that I’ve been doing. I have ready the backbone of malay food ingredients ; the blend onion, garlic and chili paste. Improve life dot com

5.       I like seeing people going to gym. It gives me motivation as well.

the loo problem

 

91 posts to go. My head kinda feel heavy. Is it because of the 2 cups of coffee yesterday. That gave me sudden realization on every single thing, made me cross out all my to do list after work but hence now feeling so gulup gulup. And I’m having hard times going to the loo. Another stupid mistake that I learnt last week is that, I was not hungry but I’m not going to the loo so I force myself to eat lunch even when I’m not hungry and drank teh ais and I’m not even craving. The reason is that so that my stomach full and I can to the loo. Not recommended at all . com

may the will have power

 

92 posts more. Let’s do this today. I want to work really hard ya today. It’s been in the list. And another goal is to write a lot. Like a real lot. Today I want to reduce the number of posts debt to 80+ by today. Another mission is to work out until sweat today. Yesterday, I did exercise but not sweat, just breath heavily. I want to sweat like a pig. The thing is maybe my stamina is low. How to increase stamina? By jogging? In order to increase the willpower for me start jog again, I have bought new windbreaker from tiktok. May the willpower comes…~

include in my prayers

 

92 posts left.

OMG How to be extremely organized ya. Not extremely. Just properly organized. That’s all I want. I want to record it all and can refer anytime I want easily. Now that everything is shattered like seriously. Like every single thing. I want to do it good. Please help me Ya Allah. I want to work hard and be organize. It’s been a year here. I don’t see any vital improvement, I’m so sad. I want to be super good at my work, work really heard, blood and tears, all out. Please help me. Also for my han eul project. I want to include in my prayers.

work like your life depend on it

 

93 posts left.

It’s like bridges burn, I never learn. Please don’t make it too late for me to realize Ya Allah. Ya Allah, I want to be close with You again. BUT because I want to be close not because I lost something or heavy ujian happened that I have no other option but YOU. I want to have other options but hence I chose You Ya Allah. Verily, You understand what I want to say. You know what in my heart. I want to be all out in every single thing I do, be serious. Work like your life depend on it.

pls

 

94 posts left.

After all, Alhamdulillah. Thank you Ya Allah for another salary that I can pay my monthly commitment. The real commitment and also the unnecessary things that I need to buy. Ya Allah please help me sorting my life. Like seriously. I must stop spending my money like I made from it. Or else help me to increase my income. The thing is that I’m afraid to ask to do so because I myself know that I don’t deserve it at all. I even struggle to do the most basic things like solat. I have missed a lot of solats because I have this idea that I can ganti all. Don’t know whether you accept all my ibadahs. Please Ya Allah. Help me in a way that not taking anything or anyone from me. I am struggling. Please.

and so many things to do

 

95 posts to catch. One 95 posts to catch. One day we’re all the same. Going to class, eat together, do assignment together, outing together, then next thing I know we’re heading different ways. Living for different purpose, working in different industries, earn different range of income and live life differently. Next thing I know, I got invitations from my fellow friends, one getting married, one getting kid, one getting divorced. Whatever everyone is doing in life, everyone is moving towards that direction. There’s nothing much for me to say. No conclusion as well. The thing is that, life happens. All around us. And everything is so fast. And so many things to do.

time, please stop running

 

96 posts to go. We can do this. We must do this! Wow it’s feel like I’ve been writing a lot and still there’s a lot that I miss. Life is going fast, like really fast and I have had hard times to catch them. Like everything is so fast. One day you’re a student, don’t know how to navigate life. Waiting for week 7 and 14. Week 8 is mid sem break and week 15 is final exam then semester break 1 month of 3 months. Those good old days. However still, not sure whether I’d rather go back to those days. Cuz now also not too bad Alhamdulillah.

to the SEA

 

97 posts to go.

October. Month of getting back on my feet. 3 months left until 2024, the year I’m turning 27. And I have a new goal. I want to travel to SEA countries. South East Asia countries. There are only 11 countries in SEA.
1. Brunei
2. Cambodia
3. Malaysia
4. Myanmar
5. Indonesia
6. Vietnam
7. Laos
8. Timor Leste
9. Thailand
10. Philippine
11. Singapore

LOL I FORGOT SINGAPORE.

The target is 10 countries in 3 years. Means 3 countries per year which is almost impossible. Looking at my sick bank. But we can start doa right. Maybe I have luck on that haha.

the missing budget sheet

 

98 posts to go, let’s go.

 

So my screen time this week is average 8 hours 58 minutes. That’s a lot of time. Waste? I don’t know whether that’s the right term. Maybe it is I think. Ok, now I have new goal. To reduce my screen time to 6 hours / day. Now until 12.18pm my screen time is already 2hours 10 minutes. Maybe I can do this? In conjunction to sober October. No online shopping at all during October. No tiktok, no shopee. At all ya. Let’s try this over and over again. Also, after a month of neglecting my budget excel sheet. I’m coming back…..