Ya Allah, everyone is getting nearer somewhere. Can see the
destination already and I feel like I’m away. Away from everything. Am I doing
the right choice? Should I go? But sure it will hurt so much too Ya Allah. Ya
Allah, I know that I’ve done a number of bad deeds when I’m with him.
The sparks gone now, when I called him today I can hear him sighing like not
happy. Like why she’s calling me type of sigh. Like he’s fed up of me. Like he’s
bored of me. Ya Allah what should I do now? We like don’t have direction Ya
Allah. It’s always me who try to keep up with this relationship, if I decide to
go then he will just let go of me and probably move on with new girls and
obsessions the next day. Plus, he also have a lot of coping mechanism like
drinking and go to any place. He can replace me immediately. But I have to
suffer loneliness again. Am I overthinking? Am I sick? Am I crazy?
Am I worried too much. Because Ya Allah, You know that I’m not strong. I’ve
been this phase before and it hurts so bad.
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