Wednesday, 31 May 2023

hurts so bad

 

Ya Allah, everyone is getting nearer somewhere. Can see the destination already and I feel like I’m away. Away from everything. Am I doing the right choice? Should I go? But sure it will hurt so much too Ya Allah. Ya Allah, I know that I’ve done a number of bad deeds when I’m with him.

The sparks gone now, when I called him today I can hear him sighing like not happy. Like why she’s calling me type of sigh. Like he’s fed up of me. Like he’s bored of me. Ya Allah what should I do now? We like don’t have direction Ya Allah. It’s always me who try to keep up with this relationship, if I decide to go then he will just let go of me and probably move on with new girls and obsessions the next day. Plus, he also have a lot of coping mechanism like drinking and go to any place. He can replace me immediately. But I have to suffer loneliness again. Am I overthinking? Am I sick? Am I crazy?

Am I worried too much. Because Ya Allah, You know that I’m not strong. I’ve been this phase before and it hurts so bad.

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