out of control

 

Everything has been crazy. May it be my financial, my health, my looks, my room, my workspace and most of is my weight. I’ve been gaining weight like crazy. I can see how. I never not full these days. Having a complete 3 meals a day, not fully exercising, and not answer nature call at all. Cuz no call to answer. Let’s not mention on my sugar intake, it’s crazy too. For this past 3 days, I’ve been drinking coke, family mart boba, zus buttercreme and mixue boba; and dessert takes also been crazy, kiedacrepe cheese mille and speech strudel. And syrup. Urgh. Not weird at that I’ve been gaining weight.

hazelnut regret

 

Primary source of meaning

What gives our lives value?

Professional life become identity

Take your work seriously

There’s no better time for personal joy than now

Write a story that encompasses the things that truly matter to you.

……

Want to start working out and puasa. Maybe back to jogging but that’s like a lot to do ha ha ha. But that’s one of many ways to have more energy. How yahh

Hazelnut coffee taste just like Ferrero rocher, I’m in love with hazelnut , thanks to kak linda. She’s been influence me with hazelnut. Omg I supposed to buy hazelnut derived drinks at Zus the other day. Urgh, regret.

whatever she’s doing

 

Now i realized that can poop everyday is a bless, well connected wifi is also a bless. Before this, my wifi connection to this laptop is on off and gosh know how exhausting it is. Now I’m thinking of buying new laptop, but looking at my debt, it’s freaking alarming. My next target is to find new job after raya next year.

First stop is registering BEM, have done half way. Gonna continue later. #procrastination at best. Not best. Procrastination is bad. Let’s get rid at it. 26 years old b is not gonna procrastinate, she’s just taking time off, and surely will get back to whatever she’s been doing.

from movie to realization....

 

Let’s talk about movie. I have a list of movies that I’ve watched at the cinema with my boo. Since I’m 87 posts behind my target and my debts are mounting.

 

Bajet today
basuh kereta rm15
burger king rm30
kopi and lemon rm20
isi minyak rm25

 

OK HOW.

And

Fai wedding.

Omg I’m just about to shop but looking at my money, ha ha ha. Laugh all the way first.

Omg how I’m gonna do it yahhhh

Rm250 this 26^th for road tax

If I’m not paying hong leong this time means next month will be

RM700 hong leong

RM300 maybank

RM 400 Bank rakyat

Rm 550 RHB

RM600 car

Rm200 mama

Oh noo impossible

…….

Leave rm 250 in maybank for 26^th wedding.

 

Rm300 maybank

Rm300 hong leong

Take rm850 from bank rakyat.

 

After all maybank mount goes down till rm2000, just use hong leong. And pay extra for ptptn.

 

Sept

Rm600 kereta

Rm550 rhb

Rm150 + 50 hong leong (cc + cash)

Rm500 (maybank)

Rm 400 bank rakyat

Rm200 mama

double cleansing

 

Omg guys, it’s working. Double cleansing is seriously working.

I usually have whiteheads around my nose, I scratch using my tudung, looking at those whiteheads making me feel satisfied. Like really satisfied. I know it sound gross but fact simply cant be denied.

But double cleansing by using kiss beauty avocado balm then using cleanser.

today I’m going to

• 1.       Workout for 15 minutes
• 2.       Learn Burmese 20 pages
• 3.       Read book until page 100
• 4.       Quran until page 10, its brand new start
• 5.       Find buku doa and write down doa.
• 6.       Tahajjud untuk kaya, sihat, cantik and mama panjang umur.
• 7.       Vacuum bilik
• 8.       Basuh baju
• 9.       Kemas almari baju sikit
• 10.   Kemas tudung
• 11.   Prepare for tomorrow

jud1ka everyday

 

OMG HARINI SERIOUS KENA WORKOUT. AND KEMAS ALMARI BAJU.

Battery kereta.

Today, need to workout. Yes I’ve said it earlier, I’m saying this again. And start berjimat.

Budget quite tight ya, don’t forget it.

Yes, I’m starting tahajjud now, and my sole prayer is to murah rezeki. That’s it. That’s only it

After checking my account, I’m positive that I don’t need new perfume. Thank you. Plus, I’ve bought new Lilith and Eve and that’s more than enough.

And I already paid to ameeru my jud1ka concert tix. So looking forward for his concert. Have to listen to judika everyday now haha.

skincare addictionnn

OMG I really want to but cleansing oil but my budget is literally really really tight. Sobs. I need to save money and buy during next pay day. You can do this sharifah.

My skincare regime for now is I want to focus on anti aging, means that my next target product is product with retinol. But product with retinol is pricey.

From now on, my skincare concern is anti aging.

I want to wear retinol at night.

Before this I like brightening and hydrating series. My next paycheck is going to be more on retinol wise skincare. And double cleansing with cleansing oil.

So looking forward.

hate it when skin acting up

 

Hey, it’s 26. I’m officially in late 20s. As the age increase, I need to take care of my health even more.

I want to be quick at my work, like really quick. Like when I have a task, straight do.

Ya Allah save him from police operation. Just don’t let him caught. But in mean time, I’m also need to pray hard that they’re not making nonsense if he stay at his workplace. Men cannot be trusted at all. Better safe than sorry.

I want to work diligently like ever. Like really bersungguh sungguh. And look forward for skincare routine as well cuz they’re fun. But the thing is, the more I care about my skin, then the more they’re acting up. I hate it when my skin acting up. I mean like, who like it right?

peace and money

 

And food doesn’t taste that good now, it’s just food. They used to taste so good on days I intermittent fasting, that’s a sign, after this I’m going to be back with fasting. And working out a lot.

I’m still searching. Searching for motivation

Searching for money

Searching for passion

Searching of my purpose

Searching for myself

And seems like, like is an endless searching.

Carpe diem. Enjoy the moment.

After all, I’m so thankful that after all, life is good now. Alhamdulillah. This is not a victim mentality, it’s a reality. Allah has been and always be good to me. Thank you so much. All I aim for is now what I have. From now on, I want still, peace and also rich in money. Wealthy. Help me Ya Allah.   

like, what's the purpose right

 

Somehow, what my boyfriend said is true. Why you want to eat pricey food cuz it end up in the stomach anyways, no matter what you eat, it will be processed into c-shaped black semi solid block. But I want to cuz I want to show on the net. Is that? Omg that’s not right. What is this Sharifah? Why are you like this? This is supposed not to be your purpose in life. But I like looking at my food picture at one point of life, sharing with people what I eat and whatnot. Is it good? For the picture? But then we need to go dating somehow, idk what to eat. Ya Allah, give me clarification on this.  

the 26

 

It’s my 26^th birthday tomorrow. Alhamdulillah. I want to be a better Allah’s servant, more hygiene, more looking good, khatam quran at least once.

1.       Backwardly

2.       Starting from juzuk 1

Starting working out again cuz apparently that’s the mitochondria of energy, the solution to not be tired.

Want to lose weight

Want to post on Instagram again.

Want to be active on linkedin and update my resume

Zero credit card debt.

Read books; a lot.

Be super good at all things I do especially my job

Learn Burmese and piano

Register Board of Engineer Malaysia (BEM)

Qiamulail every single night.

manage to be ok again

 

Yes, usually we never realize the value of something until we lost it. Then we’re longing to that ‘good old days’. Ya Allah, thank you for all this peace. I never ever want again to go through with that suspicious and feel like I have no worth moments. I don’t even want to remember, even though maybe if I remember it now, it almost felt like nothing but I don’t want to dig that ever again. But I will always be suspicious, that thing wreck every single thing in me. But Alhamdulillah, with Your help Ya Allah, I manage to be ok again.

health and wealth

 

Alhamdulillah for this peace that I’m longing for so long. Alhamdulillah , thank you Ya Allah. I want to be more thankful and a lot of ibadah as submission to You and Only You. Grateful for everything. May everything will be okay. I don’t want to encounter more deep hurtful feelings and tiredness. It’s exhausting. I want energy, feeling good, feeling positive and have a lot of money. Not to only spend but to have a more secure financial. I want to look good in every way. I need to change my makeup looks, even though I don’t have one signature, I’m still searching. And most of the time, I look, bald. I mean, like there’s something vacant on my face. What yaaaa.

living or existing

 

One of the many many things to do, I still don’t know what to do. Should not write cuz I HAVE to finish reading my book, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine. Less than 70 more pages. But hence, since I’m free today, going to read and together with writing out prompts from book. But first of all, let’s continue reading

1.       Do you have a life or just existence

2.       Having family and friends make you notice something you never realize before. Hence talking helps. Just don’t overdo it.

 

-          Pakai inai

-          Workout

-          Mandi

-          Solat, baca quran

-          Read more books

-          Basuh baju

oldtown 3in1

 

I love old town hazelnut 3 in 1 coffee, it’s like ‘detox’ coffee that help you receive the nature call minus the pain of stomach growling if you consume the actual detox drinks.

Yes, it’s a scam. Getting energy from working out and not from sleeping. Life is tough dear fellow .

Today is voting day, for 6 states in Malaysia. And if the current state government wins, my state will get additional special holiday on Monday. Me likey. I plan to take day off on my birthday, this Tuesday but then Alhamdulillah work is feeling good so I no need extra leave to get away from work.

Life is weird most of the times, I’m just gonna need Allah in every single thing I do.

And please sharifah, start solat! First, compulsory mandi. Thank you bye nak siap nina dah keluar rumah.

the mouse indicator

 

This thing that I’m investing for my work is that I bought a mouse. And it’s not wireless, it’s a wired mouse. I like wired mouse more than wireless one. This shows that I’m serious with my work. I kinda like my work actually. I really wish that our company have more projects coming and I’m becoming more well verse in everything I do.

 

Oh my god, the internet connection to this laptop from home WIFI is SOOO BAD, I WANT TO SCREAM AND SHOUT CUZ THEY’RE CONNECT AND DISCONNECT ALL THE TIME. GOSH PLEASE. BRB I’M CONNECTING TO MY PHONE’S PERSONAL HOTSPOT

no jealousy

 

I don’t know what is wrong with, I tend to keluar air mata, don’t know whether it’s called crying or what but it’s just huwaaaa. And it’s just a random Taylor Swift posts. Why am I being touched?? I feel so close with Taylor Swift, she’s like an elder sister that I wish to have. I mean like, my sister now is good too, I love her so much, now cuz we tend to fight a lot when we were kid. And now we’re close. Alhamdulillah for that, could’ve asked more. The another thing that I’m super grateful that I’m always wish her the best in life, I’m so thankful that I’m not being jealous at all at her cuz there’s a big tendency that jealousy strike from anywhere but not with her. Alhamdulillah. Ya Allah, please avoid me of the bad of jealousy. And grant me a lot of rezeki as well.

what are you fighting for

 

Already have no idea what to write, what to do and what am I fighting for this life. Why always like this ya? Ok first thing first,

1.       Pakai inai

2.       Baca buku bagi habis

3.       Workout like crayzayyy

4.       Watch Myanmar documentary

5.       Learn Burmese, 50 pages

6.       Write blog, 5 more posts

7.       Write my notebook aka journal, 1 page

8.       Online courses

9.       Meditate

 

Olay Regenerist micro-sculpting cream with Niacinamide (Vitamin b3), amino peptide and  hyaluronic acid

• Instantly hydrates to firm skin for a lifted look
• Helps protect the skin’s natural barrier
• Diminishes the look of fine lines and wrinkles
• Formulated with Vitamin B3, Amino-Peptides, and Hyaluronic Acid

overwhelming

 

Now to do

1. Write my product brief skinlovver

2. sourcing grapkeing

3. all my market research

 

So many things to do, so little time, motivation, sources and energy. Eventually, time passed and we’re going nowhere.

So many songs to listen

So many places to go.

So many books to read

So many movies and series to watch

So many courses to learn

I want to hafal the whole Quran

So many workouts to do

So many foods to taste.

So many products to use

So many makeup looks to try

 

It gets overwhelming sometimes, most of the time.

and time goes by

 

So yesterday managed to write 3 posts. Today’s goal is… 10 posts. Now 11.08 am. And now is 1.47pm. Not even a single post succeed. Yes, we can do this dear self.

Omg now 4.05pm. Don’t know what I’m doing exactly. Work? Just 10% Most of the time just scrolling this and that.

• So today’s topics are

• 1.       Get job in engineering field, first most is update my resume and be super active in Linkedin. I’m not good in social media as well
• 2.       Hercules Poirot
• 3.       Inconsistency in working out, sweat like pig
• 4.       Not reading many books
• 5.       Left behind on my good reads

super not focus

 

YAYYY. All my customer notification by npra for this skincare range have been approved. Im so happy. No second time cuz its all settled within first submission. This is my second time doing notification for customer’s product, the first one is kak ija’s customer; hair tonic and hair shampoo one.

Omg I need to do write up for brightening range . I think the key to well life is being focus and serious in everything you do. I’m always trapped cuz I never pay attention to important thing, but no matter how much. And I aim to be super focus but all I be is super not focus.

because of the milk

 

I’m gaining weight. It’s official. Diana pointed it out today, during lunch. Ya allah am I getting fat like seriously really fat. Now the scale is no sign of 6 at all! I’m done, like done done. I don’t want to eat anything at all anymore. I’m going to be fully starving from now on and addicted to working out. I hate getting fat. I hate like really hate. Not one person only, but all other agreeing as well. OMG I HATE BEING FAT. Yes it’s no surprise that I’m out of control when it comes to food as well as my workout routine is gone. Urghhhhh I WANT TO ACHIEVE 65KG BY 25^TH AUGUST 2023 MEANS 2 WEEKS LEFT. Yes I can if I starve myself. Maybe it’s the anlene total 10. NOT REPEATING THAT MILK EVER AGAIN.

my Archilles' heel

 

Yesterday managed to write 3 posts, gonna make it 10 today! Yes we can!
what to do today, Yes , a lot to do today.

-check NOT Ha*eul
- test label han*ul
- shea li ingredient list

 

Wow so sleepy today, the fact that I haven’t wash my hair and not working out last night.

 

I had a dream, that to be more focus on project update. Is that what I need to do to step up my game in this career; or whatever career I’m going to have. Cuz obviously that’s my Achilles heels. But how? I want to be so good at following up and at my job

cuz she deserves it

 

Ahhh, just managed to do 2 posts and 0 work today cuz I’m sad. I hate it when someone I like resign. So far maybe just 1 and she’s kak Linda. She’s been working here for a month and all I can say is that our company lost a star. I can see that she can work really well. She’s loud and daring. Just a good bossy person who have idea what shes doing. Not like tin kosong one. She also really like to belanja me makan, I’m gaining weight cuz of her #blamegame. And it’s quite awkward to refuse her lunch invitation everytime, now she’s not around, I can happily have an afternoon nap without feeling guilty. Wishing her the best in life cuz she deserves it all.

cooking diary #1 : yellow curry prawn (blue elephant paste)

 

My cooking diary.

Yesterday I cooked Yellow Curry Prawn , but taste like normal curry but salty cuz maybe I pour too much salt. Is it even necessary at first place? Yes maybe needed cause at first they’re taste quite tasteless.

Kinda like it, a very simple procedure and taste decent. Proud that they finished , baim ate it all. Ah luv. I like to try all kind of cooking pastes in the market. I love going to market and buy things. Like seriously. I really like it, wish I have all time, money and energy to do it all. Life is fun, sometimes.

1 more to be notified

Yahuuu, 4 out of 5 of my products have been notified. Now waiting for one more, the sleeping mask. Quite afraid of the sleeping mask we claim that it can be worn even in the noon. It’s just a thicker moisturizer . I will check again after lunch.

So like always, today’s goal is to write 10 posts and get things done ASAP.

Btw im so sad today cuz my kakak keje is resigning. I kinda like her, she’s experienced and I love listening to her stories. Sobs.

In other note, I’m gaining weight , is it because of the Anlene Total 10? My 10 min workout yesterday felt nothing. Maybe I need to do more intense workout. Trying it today

post 1 out of 10 for today 9/8/2023

me likey

 

-          Finally, one pen is out of ink. Still have 4 pens to finish. Don’t buy new one, even if one is RM0.10

-          Do not buy anything

-          Don’t humble brag, don’t brag, don’t centralize everything to you

 

Sometimes I love my job, I love going to watsons and see all the products on the self that later have discussion with other like I know a lot when the fact is I know almost none, still a lot lot to learn. And the feeling is different when you take pictures from stores than just online google them. I feel like dedicating a lot of posts for each item. Ahh what a dream. Me likey

post 2 out of 10 for today and now is already 5.43pm

serum bar

 Apparently my logic is not too logic. My logic is anti inflammatory food to avoid is spicy food but apparently spicy food can reduce inflammation. Omg am I not being logic enough. So lesson of the day , don’t trust your logic cuz youre not logic enough. Reason: you don’t read enough and write enough. By writing, it will catch a lot of things. Before write anything you need to have information about something then one thing leads another, further discussing and digging and reading about another.

Btw there’s a serum bar in AEON iOi, what a concept that I like, you can try many texture of serums. Something I want to spend time more

Post 1/10 for today, lets make it 10/10 haha

unorganized me

 

The goal today is to write at least 10 posts. Can I really make it? Idk but let’s try. Despite of having so much work to do. Let’s talk work first, then further with other things. Want to continue doing NOT for ha ne ul, then halal cert email to datin heat her, then msds for cosway; that’s long on hold for no reason, also need to whatsapp label supplier. I want to stay committed to work, now, today, tomorrow and forever.

I went to IOI for market research last time with Diana, hopefully can share the deets later. I’m so unorganized urgh.

keep writing and working!

 

No idea. What to write. I’m not doing anything at work today and this is so alarming. Like seriously omg I supposed to not be like this. At least I need to write to my blog which is you. I mean like I have like 100 posts behind the supposed post. And I even stop writing my credit card spending cuz they’re terrifying. Once it’s less than RM1500 then I’m back putting it on #denial. I even minimize the word count to 100 words instead of 300 words earlier. Commitment issue. What to do ya. Today feels good Alhamdulillah.

the left behind

 

Today I went out earlier than usual, like 10 minutes earlier. Just to come back home cuz I left my laptop charger at home. I’m early as I woke up early, even recite quran for a page and a chapter of my current read (Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine). Quite a good morning for me, minus the part where I left my laptop charger home.

I decided to drink my coffee at office, it gonna save some time. Hence, I aim to clock in early, around 8.05am then have my own sweet time until I have mood. I also answer my nature call here in office; time saving 101.

Also, I decided to stop being cheapskate as I want to buy my own hazelnut coffee from old town. Then bring the flop alicafe warung here.